Pride and Humility

Have you noticed how people (like me) who are pursuing a healthy lifestyle that involves weight loss and exercise can become extremely self focused? Sometimes it seems that food choices, tracking, and exercise dominate our thoughts, conversations, and lives, boring everyone around us and eventually even ourselves. I've reached that point in the past, where I thought, "Forget it, this is just too much trouble. I don't want to be so focused on what I eat and how much I exercise."   Unfortunately, for a self-indulgent person with a food addiction, the alternative is to go back to overeating, morning, noon and night and in between, nearly every day. Because there's nothing self-focused about that, right?!

Balance. That's why I seek after both physical and spiritual fitness, because for me, they go hand in hand.

Recently, God brought some clarity to this dilemma and blessed me in an unexpected way. It started with worship team practice a couple Thursdays back. Our worship leader, Bryce, showed a short video clip of Francis Chan talking about humility. Some of the highlights that stuck with me:  Moses was more humble than anyone on the earth, and God spoke to him face to face. (Numbers 12)   He quoted Isaiah 57:15, "I live in a high and holy place but also with him that is contrite and lowly in spirit." The following statement really struck me, "The greatest reward for humility is intimacy with God." Intimacy with God! Now that's a goal worth striving for!

After the video, Bryce challenged us to seek intimacy with God by pursuing humility, defined as: stop thinking about ourselves and to think more about God and about other people. "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, consider others better than yourself." (Phil. 2:3)

Oh yes. I need to stop thinking about me, me, me and instead, deliberately turn my focus to God and who he is, as well as to other people.

Fast forward to the next Sunday, thinking about humility all the while. I love to sing the worship songs with the team, and we had some really great ones. After our morning practice before church, I saw myself in the restroom mirror and berated myself for how stupid I looked. What was I thinking, wearing a pastel pink sweater on a blustery wet September morning? Ok, I was thinking, what matches my long black skirt, and the pink sweater with black trim fit the bill. Then I realized that my necklace, bracelet, and earrings definitely looked as if they had been grabbed randomly in a rush on my way out the door. I really need a personal fashion consultant. Good grief, I have to go stand in front of the church looking ridiculous. I went out in the foyer and my lovely friend Jan Schoen complimented me on how nice I looked. I humbly told her how foolish I felt wearing pastel pink when everyone else was wearing fall colors (and didn't mention my mismatched jewelry hoping she wouldn't notice!) She graciously pointed out some pastel pink among the appropriate fall colors of her scarf. When I walked away from her I realized... I was focusing on MYSELF! Just get over it! You are here to worship God! You are wearing what you are wearing, now just forget about it! Oh, God, please help me to focus on You!

God is so good about answering our prayers. When the service started, the words to the songs made me forget about myself and get lost in the presence of God. Next thing I knew I was standing there, trying to sing in a quavering voice with tears streaming down my cheeks. (God helped me not to worry about looking stupid, but I think he did remind me to just step away from the microphone a little bit!)
"I will be still, Know you are God."

Recently I'd been kind of wondering if it was maybe a little egotistical and prideful to have a blog to share my fitness journey. (And besides that, it hardly gets any "Likes" or comments when I post the link on Facebook so maybe my pride was getting a little wounded!) So this has helped clarify for me. "My" fitness journey is not just about me, just as yours is not just about you. It is only by the grace of God that I enjoy the health and strength to exercise, and that I have the mental and emotional capacity to exercise the spirit of self-discipline that he has given to me. I know many of us are on this journey together, and I want to encourage all of us to get our eyes off ourselves and fix them on God. And I'd love to hear from you how God is helping you to do that! A shared journey is easier than a lonely journey.

One of my favorite quotes from Oswald Chambers, "Shut out every other thought and keep yourself before God in this one thing only--my utmost for His highest. I am determined to be absolutely and entirely for Him and Him alone. "...my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death."---Philippians 1:20

I love the song "Still" that we sang that Sunday morning, and I leave you with a link to play it and get it in your mind as well.
"When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are King over the flood
I will be still, know you are God."